Halloween

Halloween is one of my personal nightmares. I didn't love it as a kid and have learned to hate it as a teacher. Being a behavior specialist has simply cemented the whole negative deal.

Minneapolis, as a school district, has put it's foot down and told everyone no Halloween celebrations this year. Okay, all that really means is rename it a harvest party and nix the costumes.

The kids were higher than kites these last two days, but there is a ton of good news.

There were only two candy related incidents at work, unless a seizure can be brought on by sugar.

We live in a secured condo, and there is no way there will be trick-or-treaters knocking on our door tonight.

Dennis bought one of our favorite types of candy to hand out to all of these non-existent kids.

Monday is a record keeping day, which means the kids have an extra day off to scarf down all that sugar before returning to school.

Okay, the Halloween curmudgeon is signing off for the day. I have a glass of wine and a milky way to keep me smiling tonight.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Drooling, One More Time

I almost hate to write about this subject, but drooling has reared it's ugly head, once again. Actually, the topic has never really left our lives, but we do have days when it does go away for a bit of time.

It's back, and in full force, once again.

I have absolutely no idea what Dennis is talking about when his saliva has taken over. We can't have anything close to a normal conversation on these icky saliva days. I hate to ask him a question, because I know that I will not understand the answer.

I know I have said this before, but it bears repeating. Our relationship grew on story telling. I miss understanding what Dennis is babbling about. I miss hearing his repeated stories. I think he also misses me asking him for stories.

Tonight he will eat blueberry pie and ice cream, because his saliva does not interfere with this particular diet. However, I will not be put to sleep with his story. And believe me, his story telling is the best sleeping aid ever.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Today

By the time I came home today, Dennis was feeling better. Well, not so much better that he was up and about, but feeling good enough to tell me he was feeling better.

He had to cancel two appointments today, and a metro ride. He wasn't able to get his catheter changed, and he missed a speech session. Both are fairly easy to make-up, but the catheter is a tough one to miss. By the time the six weeks roll around, he really needs a change. Now he will need to wait an extra 6 days.

I was in charge of calling to cancel and reschedule these appointments. Naturally, their offices open at the same time I am getting busy at work. For some odd reason, every time I call urology, I am always put on hold for quite a while. Today was not an exception to this unwritten rule. It is difficult to be waiting on hold while you are trying to do your job. I finally had to call home and tell Dennis he had to do this himself.

I don't like it when I cannot accommodate Dennis' requests. At the same time, when I am at work, I want to work.

A new conundrum to think about. Well, at least a new conundrum that allows me to write a few new rules that I can attempt to enforce.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Just Another Monday

Dennis has had a few slow days, lately. Yesterday his blood pressure stayed low all day long. Today, once again, the drooling issue has kept him from living his life.

He has been using papaya pills to control his drooling. They seem to work like everything else, however. Somedays they seem to do the trick and other days they are a waste of time.

The blood pressure is more than likely tied to being tired. At least that is what my informal research is telling me.

So nothing is really new. That is really good news, though. There have been no falls to write about. We haven't been to the emergency center in a few months. His weight has stabalized and he hasn't had a full blown passing out episode in quite a while.

This is good news.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Next Step, Medicare

A year ago Dennis and I were filling out his disability, social security, application. I was determined to fill it out with 100% accuracy. It wasn't easy, and it was not fun, but we finished it and submitted it last November.

We were running out of money. Well, we weren't really, but Dennis was digging into his savings regularily. This was money we had hoped to use for my early retirement. We needed this money and Dennis deserved this money. After all, it wasn't his fault that he could no longer work.

Soon, we will be starting the process of filing for the medical end of social security. It doesn't make any sense to me, but you must collect disability benefits for two years before you may apply for medicare. Since his disability was defined as begining in July of 2007, he is eligible this coming summer for the insurance part of social security.

I suppose if I start the paper work right now, it might actually be completed on time.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Out with the Old, In with the New?

I do believe that Fridays have become out the question for the purpose of writing. I am tired, relaxed, and hungry and out of ideas by Friday. By Saturday afternoon, I have rallied and am ready to take on the world, once again.

This Friday afternoon, I had an extra excuse for missing blogging.

Dennis had a brand new laptop waiting for me when I came home from work.

I am not sure that I know the brand, but from here, I can see the box that says "The Computer is Personal, Again." It also is loaded with Intel, so I know it is PC. Actually, it's not cute, so I knew it wasn't a Mac. After Mac, everything else just looks like a dorky computer.

I, like most people my age, want to remain current on what is available electronically these days. We are fairly computer savvy. We are still far from being computer nerds, but we do alright by ourselves.

So, we are DSL, and wireless, and multi-computered (right now we have 4 computers for the two of us), networked, and fully programmed.

Set-up was going well until I tried to hook up to the internet. We have a protected wireless connection that requires a random certification code be entered. Of course, neither of us knows that number. Dennis remembered where he had written it down, but neither of us could actually read the code. I just now remembered that I had to enter a number for a while after we moved here, but I also just cleaned out the basket where I store odds and ends bits of paper.

So, I am back on my old computer, once again.

I purchased my first personal computer when I returned to college in my 30's. Apple was just beginning to sell home computers and Franklin Companies had copied their idea and had lost a copy right law suit. About the same time, one of my grandmothers had died and left me a small sum of money. I bought the Franklin and a printer, from an overstock type store, for around $800.00. This was more than 20 years ago.

The computer Dennis bought me cost just about the same amount of money as my first computer.

I needed a desk and hutch for my first computer.

Now I need a lap.

It most likely took me an entire day to put together my first computer. Then I know I waited for a long time before the computer would boot up. It was loaded with a word processing program a few games and a program that contained card and banner maker, so I could print out a low resolution birthday card in about 5 minutes. I was very modern.

Okay, I obviously can get so much more, in less time, but it all comes at a cost.

I am still very modern, but I still need to wait a while before I can actually use my new computer. In the meantime, however, I have 3 other computers at my disposal.

So, back to my excuse for not writing yesterday. In with the new is fine, but don't throw the old out with the new. Or throw the baby out with the bathwater. Keep the old until the new has proven itself. Or at least until you have figured the new one out. Or, in other words, I had a new toy and I wanted to play.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Early Morning Appointments

Dennis has had a busy week of early morning appointments. He had speech at 9:00 on Tuesday, a 10:00 intake at the Courage Center on Wednesday and his regular 10:00 group at Struthers’s today.

Tuesday, I helped him get ready for an 8:30 Metro Mobility ride. Wednesday I helped him get ready for his Metro ride. Thursday, Raquel was supposed to come here by 7:00 to help Dennis. She forgot.

He was worn out and was sleeping hard this morning. I didn't attempt too hard to motivate him either. I didn't feel like getting out of bed an hour early 3 days in a row. I quietly asked Dennis if he intended to get up or sleep in and gave out a big sign of relief when he said he wanted to stay home.

I have tried to talk Dennis into making late day appointments. Either these are difficult to find or he is stubborn. Me thinks stubborn is the correct answer.

By the way, it looks like his next appointment at the Mayo Clinic, for his heart test, will be sometime in November. Stay tuned.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Minnesota Health

When I started writing this daily blog, I thought a commitment of one year of daily writing would be a piece of cake. Since then, I have missed a day, here and there, but still, I have written 103 times since sometime in July.

Actually, this is entry number 104. Yes, I have considered quitting several times. I would like to quit right this minute, actually. No, I am not letting myself, or you, off quite that easily. At least not yet.

Dennis visited the Courage Center today. The Courage Center helps disabled people of all ages in many ways. Dennis is looking for something fun to look forward to each day. He is particularly interested in something athletic or artistic, and the Courage Center offers classes and open gym time for both of these desires.

We are lucky to live in Minnesota, with health care being highly valued for many years. We have the Mayo Clinic, University of Minnesota, Struthers, and The Courage Center, all of which have positively impacted our lives over the past year.

Thanks.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Language

Today a teacher asked me, how was my boyfriend?

That is too strange a word for a fifty something to use to describe the person they live with and love. A boyfriend, by definition, should be a boy. Dennis, while immature much of the time, is not a boy.

I often call Dennis my husband. For me, that is exactly what he is, a husband. But, for those that follow the letter of the law, or the letter of the church, he is not really my husband.

Sometimes I use the term, partner, to describe our relationship. These days, however, many people assume I mean a same sex partner when they hear that term.

So, often, I just say that Dennis is my guy.

In the English language, there are so many words that can be used to describe just about anything. I would venture to say there are at least 50 adjectives that could be used to describe the word, "sun", for example. But, in some terms, the language is lacking.

There is no real word that describes our relationship. There is no known word to describe his condition.

Sometimes I feel as if there are too many words in our language. At other times, there simply are not enough words.

Just a simple thought for the day.

Until tommorow,
Ann and Dennis

Being Happy

I must have been laughing at sometime yesterday.

This morning Dennis told me he noticed that I was happy yesterday. He wanted me to know how much it warmed his soul to know I was happy.

I like to think of myself as a happy person. I believe I am happy most of the time. Lately, I guess, it seems like work to be happy.

Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Sometimes, in life, things just don't go the way that we would like them to go. Somedays, the game of life can be a bit stinky. A person could wallow in all of the bad days that come along.

That is just not me. Well, it is sometimes, but it's not the person at my core.

I will continue to work on being a happy person. I will continue to see what is right in life.

And there is a lot, you know.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Lazy

"I am basically lazy."

The only dentist that I have ever enjoyed, said this to me, a few months before she retired. She was responding to my asking her how often she flossed. For some reason, those few words resonated with me.

She wasn't, lazy, of course. She owned her home on a lake, as well as the duplex where she operated her own business. She often ran the office, worked without an assistant or hygienist, and even developed her own x-rays.

She was ill. She had developed an unknown disease, and it had drained her of all of her energy.

Whenever I feel like labeling myself as "lazy," I remember this silly little exchange of words.

Today I was energetic. It was a three-day weekend and I had rested, relaxed, and visited on Friday and Saturday. This gave me a much needed extra day to attack a larger project - a closet.

I am happy when I am able to tackle a big task, but I am also okay with myself when I am less energetic.

And, now, aren't you happy for me, too?

And, now, I am too lazy to write anymore!

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with Shy Drager, Multiple System Atrophy, Parkinson's Plus or something else

Independence

Dennis and I went into Minneapolis for our Saturday morning breakfast. We have not yet found a local restaurant that meets our inner city appetites.

We ate at one of our old favorites, French Meadow Bakery, where I often run into someone I know. Today it was another teacher, off on a Saturday for a day with her sister and nieces.

It got me to thinking about independence.

Dennis is very dependent on others to help him with his day to day life. He still can dress himself, he still primps. He can, and does, get himself out of the flat and down to the front door for Metro Mobility. He is able to walk, with a walker, for a significant amount of time. He really can do a little of everything by himself, if necessary.

But, if he wants to accomplish more than one of those activities in any given day, he needs someone helping him. He is dependent on the aid of others.

Since, when I am not working, I am usually the one who is his helper, I have lost a different type of independence - spontaneous use of time.

For the most part, I am okay with my small loss of independence. There are times that I want time away that does not include work or chores. Dennis usually will find a way for me to get away for a few hours.

I can not do the same for Dennis. Sigh.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

A Way of Thinking?

When I first began teaching, in my mid-30's, I was a bit down on staff for taking personal days for vacations. It seemed to me that we had plenty of time off with our scheduled school breaks. Of course, I had just left a career where I worked 7 days a week, 51 weeks out of the year.

Perhaps, if had known then what I know now? Or, maybe it's more about age, than experience? What ever the underlying reasons, I now subscribe to the use-what-you-have before-you-lose-it, way of thinking. I actually believe, now, that those days are there for a real reason: sometimes you just need them.

We are leaving, in about a month, for a 2 week stay in London. We considered going over winter break, but Jane and Ralph are coming to the states, this Christmas. We don't know, right now, how many more trips Dennis has in his future. We hope it is many, but it may only be several.

I am good at my job. I am respected by my peers and my superiors. I also may be described as too outspoken, a bit arrogant, and a few other less attractive adjectives. But I am good.

I am confident, that the only way that I can continue to be my best, at work and at home, is to feed my own needs. I need, and want, this break and this time with my sister. I need Dennis to be happy, and travel makes him happy. Well, me, too, but that is just an added benefit.

I have set up this school's climate for success. I am confident, with a bit of luck, that everything will be just fine until I return.

Perhaps, after all, it is really only my confidence level that has changed?

Until Tommorow,
Ann and Dennis

Five Things I Love About Dennis

I have mentioned, a few times, that Dennis and I have a great relationship. I did not say it was perfect, but it is special. Here are just a few of the reasons that I adore this man.

1) He makes me laugh. Okay, most people can make me laugh, if they just try a tiny bit. I enjoy laughing and will go out of my way to be with someone that makes me smile. But Dennis is so 3 Stooges. I have learned to appreciate the strange, boyish and simple humor that gets Dennis giggling. His childish joy makes me laugh.

2) Dennis feeds me emotionally. You know how some people can find your desires and take advantage? Dennis does just the opposite. He nurtures my needs and wants. I cannot think of anything I could do or want that Dennis would not support.

3) He is cute. I love introducing friends to Dennis. He is charming and genuine. He is also a tad bit vulnerable, which us gals find so attactive.

4) His story is interesting. There is nothing boring about Dennis. He can still surprise me, every now and then, with one of his stories.

5) Dennis has a drive to live big. He is not interested in living the comfortable, cozy life. He always wants something more. He keeps me on my toes, and he can almost keep up with me.

Enough for now. I really do not want Dennis' head to get any bigger. It's difficult enough to boost his head and torso up each morning, without adding any more dead weight.

I do love this guy.
Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Again, with the Questions

A good friend made an interesting comment on asking questions. She reminded me that when we ask questions we need to be precise. What is the question that we really are asking? And, then, unfortunately, there are simply questions out in this universe that have no real answers.

I have commented, several times, about not finding answers to our questions regarding Dennis' disease/syndrome. Perhaps there are no answers. Perhaps we are just not clear enough with our questions.

I have been reading up, again, on Parkinsonian type diseases, that are atypical. There seem to be many odd and rare, movement disorders, but none seem to match what Dennis is going through. Maybe I read too much.

I think we are searching for a definitive answer that tells us Dennis will live to be 100, and find many new ways to drive me nuts. We would both love this outcome, and we will continue, a-wishin' and a-hopin'. Perhaps, instead of asking questions, we will live in the moment, and enjoy each other fully.

Until tommorow,
Ann and Dennis
Living within the moment

A Lost Post

Shiva was so happy to see us when we returned from Rochester. She was all snuggly, and purring and hanging around the both of us.

I noticed, at the hotel, that many people brought their pets along. I suppose, the next time, we could bring Shiva.

I never thought I would say that about a cat.

Shiva is cool. She really likes both of us.

Dennis and I are quite different in many ways. I like to rough-house. I toss the cat, scratch the cat and cuddle with the cat. When she is with me, it is paramount that she adores all of my attention.

Dennis is gentle. He pets gently, is quiet and doesn't ask much. He loves when she lays on his feet and is happy when Shiva is purring softly anywhere near him.

Shiva needs our opposites as much as we need them from each other. Dennis brings out the soft and gentle side of me and I bring out emotional strength in him. Ying and Yang. We are compatible and complement each other. We keep each other strong, safe, loving, honest and just a bit off center.

Groceries

I was happy when Dennis told me this morning, that he was not leaving the flat today. It was a grocery shopping, and taking him to the grocery store is no longer easy. It's the wheel chair problem.

If we are only picking a few items, we can place a basket in his lap and fill it up. He doesn't mind being a pack mule every once in a while. If I remember to bring the plastic, reusable grocery bag, we can handle a larger load.

But today was a replenish the pantry and the freezer, shopping day.

A few weeks ago, we tried having Dennis push the cart, while I pushed him. It was moderately successful. While we did not knock over any displays, or old people, we did manage to force a few people to back up the aisle. We also irritated a few customers, and created a minor scene over by the bakery, when Dennis spotted the pies.

I wasn't relishing repeating the whole experience, so I did it, willingly, on my own.

Grocery shopping, like so many aspects of our lives, has changed for us since Dennis was diagnosed with Parkinson's. Some of these changes don't matter to either of us, but this is one that is a bit tough.

Dennis likes picking out food - especially junk food. I am not a huge fan of grocery shopping. To me, it just means more work. First you shop, then you carry, then you put the groceries away. As if all of isn't enough, then I am stuck with having to cook the stuff.


Enough whining already. I have a turkey to bake!

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Q and A

A woman I work with, Carol, is extremely ill and in the hospital right now. She went home, ill, two weeks ago, and has been hospitalized ever since. Her husband created an account with caringbridge.com, so that everyone that knows her can keep up to date on her progress.

No one knows the truth about why Carol is so sick. The doctors do not have any answers, her husband is in the dark and speculation runs all over the place.

I know that her husband, Ken, would like an anwer.

I believe I still want an answer. I have many questions, but am left totally unsatisfied with the answers we receive. Once again, I know that we may never receive any real answers, but I want them just the same.

Is this one definition of insanity?

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Mayo, Day Two

This morning, we dropped off Dennis' 24 hour collection of urine for a sodium count. No matter what you put urine in, unless you flush it down the toilet, it still smells. I was very happy to leave the jugs at the front desk, and take Dennis to his next test - the sweat box.

For the sweat box, a person is stripped naked, and then covered with powder, from head to toe. You are then placed in a large plastic box, and the heat is turned up. As you begin to sweat, the powder turns from white to purple. A typical MSA/SDS patient will sweat only in patches, and large areas of the body show no signs of sweat at all. They will be spotted with purple stains. Dennis was a mass sweat producer and came out of the test completely purple. He failed this test, also.

The nuerologists are fairly certain that Dennis does NOT have an autonomic disorder, or MSA. He still is diagnosed as having stage 4 Parkinson's, on a scale of 1 to 5. These doctors are sure there is something else going on, as is his local doctor.

The next step is yet another test for another study. This one will rule out MSA completely, or confuse the situation even further. He also will receive a referral to a movement specialist at the Mayo, hopefully providing further insight to the progression of Dennis' situation.

We both left today feeling a bit lighter. The death shroud of MSA has been lifted.

Today I don't feel like asking any more questions. I simply feel like sitting here, enjoying the good news.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living without Shy-Drager or Multiple System Atrophy

At the Mayo, Day One

Dennis and I are in Rochester, Minnesota, to meet with a few of the foremost doctors in autonomic disorders. We checked him in this morning for his first series of tests. Actually the first test is a four-for-one, type of deal. They are checking his automatic response to sweating. Probes are placed in different areas and a stimulus is sent through the probes. The idea is that sweat should naturally occur without the brain needing to interpret the stimuli. They follow the patterns of sweat, how much sweat, and so on.

Included are a variety of blood draws, before, during and after the sweat test. His blood pressure is also monitored while they do a tilt test - or tilting of the table on which he is laying. The fourth test I was never quite able to understand, but it was included, none the less.

After, we met with two neurologists. The first, an understudy of The Big Guy, spent an hour asking questions and giving more physical tests. He also helped us select a resturant in this gourmet deprived city. Later, we met with The Big Guy, and his understudy, and it was determined they just did not have enough to go on to make a final decision regarding Dennis' prognosis.

So, tommorow, another test and another meeting with both doctors. Check in tomorrow afternoon to find out what we have learned.

Until Tommorow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with ??????

His Day at the Mayo Has Arrived

We leave, tonight, after work, for Rochester and the Mayo Clinic. I checked out the review for the hotel we are booked into, and they are B-A-D! Yes, I know, we are there for the study, not a vacation. However, as long as we are not at home, isn't it normal to expect great things?

We are both a bit anxious. I love that word, anxious. It suggests both good sensations and negative emotions. That is where we are right now. I am not sure how I feel about the consequences of participating in this study. I know that any information they collect will benefit someone, sometime, somewhere. And that is fantastic. What I don't know is how much it will help Dennis. And that is what I sincerely care about right now.

I anticipate, at the very least, some good advice about how to live a good existence for as long as possible. I would love to find out about a remedy, and I will hold on to that, but it is not in my expectations.

I believe Dennis hopes to know more about his life expectancy and his quality of life. I imagine he would also like the best advice about how to handle his symptoms. And I am positive that he would as well like to hear about a cure.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with Shy-Drager, Multiple System Atrophy and Hope

Schedule Change

I usually come home from work around 5:00 and make dinner after my requisite one hour relaxing time. We usually end up eating around 6:00 or 7:00. This has served us fairly well over the past few years; doing breakfast and lunch on our own, and eating together at night.

A few issues stand in the way of this working for us, anymore. For one, the drooling. In the morning and early afternoon, Dennis' drooling is less troublesome than it is at night. It is very difficult for him to eat a meal after 2:00. Secondly, he eats very slowly, and I get antsy. This means I either eat more than I need, or I am done with my meal at the same time he is beginning his meal.

Thus, a schedule change. It's fairly easy for me to cook at night, and have Raquel or JoAnn heat it up the next day. Either one of them could cook him a good meal, or heat up a meal, if I buy the right groceries. This means, we won't be eating dinner together anymore, but then we haven't really done that for a while.

On the other hand, we will have more time together at night to snuggle and watch a stupid movie. And that makes a schedule change all worthwhile.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with Shy-Drager, Multiple System Atrophy and a schedule change

Saliva, Once Again and Again and Again

Our friend, Melinda came over for dinner last night. Rod, her partner, has been working nights for over a month, and she needed to get out of the house. We always have lots of laughs together, and I needed some good laughs.

Dennis disappeared into the master bedroom/bathroom suite about 5 minutes before she arrived. He only came out once to sweep through the kitchen and say hello during the five hours she was here.

Dennis loves Melinda, so I was surprised that he was so anti-social. I know he was busy "unconstipating" himself, but he also just sat on the bed and watched Tv quite a bit of that time. There was a tiny bit of pouting going on, too, due to a few words we had exchanged earlier. However, I knew there was more to the story.

He had been too embarrassed to come out and talk. He was salivating at a rate similar to a small waterfall. He wouldn't have been able to talk or eat, so he simply stayed out of the picture.

Perhaps the Mayo will have some answers for us. If not, the Struther's will have to hustle on the referral to the specialist for Botox injections. This issue needs to be resolved. Soon.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with Shy-Drager

Club CREATE

Dennis went to Club CREATE today, and met another man with Shy-Drager. John, was diagnosed with Shy-Drager eight years ago. He was given, at that time, one year to live. Yet, he was there, today, talking with Dennis.

Hope abounds!

Going to the Struther's Clinic once a week for Club CREATE, wasn't something Dennis really wanted to do this year. He attended a few times last year, but always came home each time with mixed feelings. He has gone most Thursdays, since I started work in September, and each time he seems to like it better.

It must be difficult to join a group where everyone is "sick." At the same time, there must be some comfort in being around people who are suffering similar symptoms as you.

I have picked Dennis up a few times, and I must say I understand why it would be encouraging and frightening at the same time. All of these strangers are everywhere with symptoms that are worse than your own. On the other hand, may are just different. Or maybe the are honestly in better shape than you, but you do not see yourself when you see at the other individual.

I can't relate, totally, to what Dennis is going through, but I can and do have empathy. Next, add to that all this love stuff, and I think I get it pretty well.

I want Dennis to live 8 years beyond his life expectancy. Happy, healthy and loving years.

Until tommorow,
Ann and Dennis, living with Shy-Drager, Multiple System Atrophy and hope for many more years together.

Eating Out

On my way home from work, I passed an American Legion. I had never noticed it before, but, then, I am still learning about our new neighborhood. Outside they had a large placard, "Steak Fry Tonight." My initial thought was, Dennis would love this. I'll go home, pick him up and treat him to a cheap dinner.

Then, just a moment later, I remembered he no longer can eat meat unless it is all ground up.

I will figure out this new diet, mechanical soft, and we will always eat well. However, going out to eat for dinner is going to be more and more difficult. Unfortunately, that has always been our favorite date night. We both enjoy spending a long evening with a bottle of wine, an appetizer, dinner and dessert. Neither of us is ready to give up the whole idea of eating out just due to this new diet.

Tonight we will settle for left over meatloaf and mashed potatoes, at home.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with Shy-Drager, Multiple System Atrophy and eating at home more often

Slowester

I was visiting a classroom today, and they were learning -er and -est. One of the examples the teacher gave was using the word slow. You know, slow, slower and slowest.

What is the next step after "slowest?" Slowester? That is where Dennis is at, right now. Slowester.

Even though I observe it right before my eyes, I cannot comprehend how laborious every single act of movement is for Dennis. A simple act that takes most of us a moment or two can end up carving out two hours for Dennis.

I stopped at the grocery store after work today to purchase a few items. When I arrived at home, I put everything away, but I overlooked the Coke. I moved off to change clothes, put dinner in the oven, and start up my computer. Next I checked my email - 24 messages, delete 20, read 3, save 1 for when I have more energy - then off to write my blog.

In the background I hear the groaning and grunting of Dennis. His back has been hurting again, and he claims making noise is his method of coping with the pain. Therefore, I have been trying to ignore these annoying noises, and did not pay any attention to what he was doing. This is my way of coping.

Finally, I turn around and see him bent over in front of the open refrigerator. He had spent the last 30 minutes opening the box of Coke and then putting it in the fridge.

Dennis wants to do as much as he is able by himself. I admire the heck out of him for this. It is difficult, however, when I can do something in 30 seconds that takes him up to an hour to accomplish, not to step in and take over. Some days, I do take over. Some days, I am happy to let him do it all on his own. And then, there are some days, that I just want everything to be like it was 3 years ago.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with Shy-Drager, MSA and Living the Slow Life