A Mother Day

Today was a day with Mother. This means a 2 hour drive, a visit with repetitive conversations, a confused woman, and a woman who really, really needs to work hard on her patience. Today we were both able to laugh and hide our frustrations.

Mom is moving up to Minneapolis in two weeks to move into an assisted living apartment very near me. She wants to, which is a blessing, but she is overwhelmed. This is understandable. I have tried to take away as much of the decision making as possible, by choosing her apartment and setting up the details. She, however, was the one to make the final decision about changing the city she lives in for the rest of her life.

Today, I went to take care of some business, but also help her decide on what she would take. I told her she had room for 2 chairs and a table, and then asked which she would like to take. She couldn't decide. I told her she had room for art work, and should take 2 or 3 paintings. She told me to pick them out. Thankfully, I knew she liked the Cassatt and then she picked out a Picasso (that surprised me!).

I know this is hard. I know she really doesn't care what she is surrounded with in her new home. I really don't think she cares about much of anything, anymore. I think moving her into her own apartment with people her own age will be good for her. She is already talking about how she will go out of her way to meet other people. She was excited about "movie night" and thought she would like to take in some movies. Her attitude is good.

This post was a ramble, I know.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Exhaustion

I must admit, when we decided to get both of Dennis' surgeries done in the same week, I wondered if it was a wise decision. But all of the doctor's seemed okay with the idea, so we went ahead.

Today, Dennis said he questioned the wisdom of our decision.

He is still in bed. He has been out for an hour or two at a time, but he seems to need so much sleep. And his body is still tender and sore. And he is sensitive, oh so very sensitive. I guess I am too. We are both tired, in so many ways.

I suppose it doesn't really matter whether the surgeries were a few days apart, a few weeks apart or a few months apart. They would still have worn us both out. There just would have been two episodes of exhaustion, instead of one.

Until later
Ann and Dennis

I Need a Break

I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!

Oh, my, a bit of a rant, would you say?

I have been Dennis only care giver for the past 5 weeks, give or take a day or two when Raquel was here before the surgeries. I am tired and need a day away.

I am expecting Raquel this morning, but she had a bit of trouble lately, and may not be able to show up. Or if she does show up, she most likely will be late. You just never know with Raquel. She has proven to be pretty reliable when I am working, but she falls down a bit when I am on vacation. She would never leave Dennis purposely alone, but she feels a bit less needed when I am at home.

Not true, girl. I need you this week more than I have in a very long time.

And, guess who just walked in! My savior, Raquel. Cheerful, loving, Raquel. Thank you Lord, for delivery her to me, just when I need her most. I can leave the house. I can leave the house. I am free!

Sorry, I am not about to waste any more time writing. I am going to head for the shower and make my way out of here as fast as possible.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis and Raquel

Surgeries Completed

Both surgeries have been completed and have been deemed successful. He know has two tubes protruding from his lower belly region. I thought about posting a picture, but instead, I will let your imaginations run wild.

Our house looks more and more like a hospital room every day. There is a wheel chair and a walker. There are day and night urine bags. There are diapers, bed pads and disposable bed pads. Next to the bed is a hospital table. Now we have added one of those beautiful poles that bags hang from, complete with a pump. We have 5 cases of high calorie liquid food and one case of syringes. We have 40 iv type bags with a special "Y" closure.

Feedings are fairly easy. You always begin a feeding with 60 milliliters of water injected with a syringe into the stomach. Then, you can either directly inject a can of food and follow with water, once again, or hook up to the pump. When using the pump, you fill a bag with two or three cans of food, thread the pump, much like a sewing machine and hook it up to the stomach tube. It takes about 3 hours for each can to drip into the stomach.

The catheter pretty much works the same as the old one. Once he gets past all the pain he is in, I think he will find out that he likes the new placement.

The tricky part will be getting him dressed. One tube is directly above the pant line and the other right below. Hopefully this will be the only tricky part. I will do my very best not to hook the wrong tube into the wrong tool. I don't want to be feeding his bladder.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

One Surgery Done

My brain is on over-load. Even a stranger would be able to tell that I do not know if I am coming or going. I need to do a brain dump. I need to make a list. Then, I need to read it!

Dennis feeding tube placement went very well. Everyone seems happy with the results. However, it is a whole lot of new work for me. It needs to be cleaned, dressed, filled, rinsed, pumped, and kept to one side of his body. There are multiple prescriptions to be filled - food, pumps, liquid meds, ground up meds, sterile this and that. Then the rental company needs to come over and train me and drop off more goods. I have been trained by a nurse, someone in the vascular center, someone from nutrition and pretty soon they are going to let me actually touch the new feeding tube.

I am grateful they are so thorough. I am just tired of input, input, input. As I was typing this a nurse called me (I am trying to take a break from the hospital) and asked me a million questions. I wanted to tell her that I am tired of thinking. But I was a good girl, and I was polite, and I answered all of her questions without sounding exasperated.

Now it's back to the hospital to practice a feeding. Then he should be able to come home and kitty and I can take a nap.

Feeding Tube

The first surgery went well. The feeding tube is in place and the nurses tell me that the dressing in the incision look perfect.

Today, at 10am, we will learn about how to use the tube, how to clean it and how to replace it when needed. We will also learn about crushing his pill and forcing them into the tube. Dennis will never need to chew on anything unless he chooses to do so.

I think he will continue eating for a very long time. Especially ice cream and any other dessert he is able to get his hands upon.

I will let you all know later just how this works. First, though, I must get educated.

Until later
Ann and Dennis

Doctors and Time

Dennis loves his general practitioner, Dr. Kieffer. He is thorough and kind, and always remembers the little pieces of personal information that you share with him. But, you must come to an appointment prepared to spend an hour or two in his room.

Yesterday, that hour or two became three hours.

Today, I took Dennis to a new dentist. He finally figured out that I was serious when I told him I would not drive for 30 minutes just so he could see his old dentist in Lakeville. He is very wary of change, and has a low threshold for pain. He was comfortable with his dentist. I, on the other hand, see the value in keeping a specific doctor in your life, but find the world of dentistry a bit less personal in nature.

The point is, the new dentist is a bit like Kiefer - thorough and kind, but slow. Dennis loved him! I finished my book, read a People magazine (one of my guilty doctor's office pleasures), shopped at a pharmacy and stared at CNN for over 3 hours, once again.

Tomorrow surgery is slated for 10:30. Of course, we will sit and wait for a while for his turn in the surgical room. Then, five minutes of surgery will take around 2 hours. Then a wait for him to wake up and become coherent once again, before another hour when he can be wheeled to his room.

I am actually a bit anxious about this surgery. I want it over, and finished. Oh, my! Where did this come from? I surprised myself by actually writing those two sentences. I thought I was becoming a rock and here I find out that I am actually quite human. Well, good. I can be a bit worried and everything is okay.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Mother

Today it's off to Eau Claire to see Mother. I have found, what all of us kids think, is the perfect place for her to live in Minneapolis. I am hoping that she sees it the same way. I believe she will.

I am so glad that she has decided to move closer to us. I really don't enjoy driving 4 hours to spend 2 or 3 hours with anyone. I didn't like it when Dad was alive, either. He drove to the cities often, and without complaint. At least not out loud to me. I am not one who believes guilt is a good trait, but there were a few times that I felt bad about letting Dad drive here. Actually, "letting" is not a word that I should use when speaking about my father and his decisions. But, I didn't try very hard to talk him out of driving.

Rachel is spending Sunday with Dennis, so I do not have to worry about him, too. Dennis feels left out, but he also knows that he is an added piece of work, when he comes along. He loves Mother, and is also happy that she is moving up here.

Time to get on the road.
Until later,
Ann and Dennis

A Busy Week Ahead

We are up for a week of doctors, dentists and surgery. Dennis has an appointment with his family doctor on Monday and then a quick stop-off to pick up some drinkable stuff for his surgery on Wednesday. Tuesday, his teeth will be cleaned. Wednesday, the feeding tube will be placed into his stomach. An overnight stay at the hospital is required to monitor him. Thursday, he will come home, who knows when and Friday he will have day surgery for his catheter placement.

Oh, how much sleep he will need the next week.

For an odd assortment of reasons, the surgeries could not be on the same day. Because we do not know if he will have any insurance for a while, they also could not be delayed. Both surgeries will improve his quality of life so there seems to be no reason to delay.

I also will be moving Mother soon. The day we returned home, I called her. She is very anxious to move to the Twin City area. I think she is very lonely. She misses dad, and her kids are the next best thing. I only wish she understood that this is what is happening.

I am so very glad that my job gives me a long summer off. I am also so very happy that I have learned to take the summers off and make the most of them. Even with everything I need to accomplish this summer, I still have time left for a wonderful vacation, relaxing, painting and reading. Oh, and today Dennis and I enjoyed a great meal at a 4 Star restaurant. Life is good.

Cemeteries Around the World

Dennis and I are very good travel companions. On our very first trip, a wonderful week spent in Bermuda, we discovered that we both loved visiting cemeteries. Sometimes the cemeteries contain headstones that are fun to read. I remember a headstone in Scotland that rambled on about a man who deserved to die from the drink that killed him. We have stumbled upon cemeteries where everyone is buried above ground because the town existed below sea level. Hours have been spent reading and revering our fore-fathers in Boston.

In Ireland, the Celtic Cross dominated every cemetery we visited. Often, the nature of a cemetery made it impossible for Dennis to get a close look. He viewed the stones through the pictures that I took. I hope you enjoy viewing a few of them as much as we did.

Photobucket" border="0">

These crosses were in a large cemetery in Kilkenny.

Photobucket" border="0">


Photobucket" border="0">
This one, while not Celtic, is very famous. It is St. Kevin's Cross. It is said that five visits to this site equals one visit to Mecca. At least that is what the literature stated.

Photobucket" border="0">

Photobucket" border="0">

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Post Vacation

We are home. We are also tired, surrounded by dirty laundry and hungry. We ate too much food, and way to many potatoes. We both gained weight; Dennis is happy with his gain, and I am very unhappy with mine. But, it is all part of the vacationing process, I suppose.

Vacation is always a great indicator of how Dennis is doing. I use the last vacation and compare it with the current vacation. He is definitely slower than last year. Last year, in Paris, we would be out and about late at night, eating dinner at a fairly appropriate European hour - between 7:30 and 9pm. This year, our days were done by 7 pm and we were often in bed by 8 pm.

Last year, he was still able to eat a full meal in a timely manner. This year, he needed a couple of hours to eat a meal. We were not able to indulge in late night meals, rather we ate a larger breakfast and at large, late lunch. We ate quite a bit of pub food, which resulted in us saving a few bucks on food, but drinking way too many Guinness beers. Is it true that a Guinness a day keeps the doctor away?

Now, the final indicator of his health, will be the amount of days he needs to recover. This is our second day home, and while I am feeling lazy, the jet lag has pretty much passed. Time will tell when Dennis is back up to speed.

More on the vacation, and a few pictures, over the next few days. Until then, Cheers!

Ann and Dennis