Arica, Chile

In Arica, Chile, we found an area that had geoglyphs. In the picture above you can see the remmanents of an old community and the geoglyphs below. Some believe they were works of art, others believe they were used for communication between communities. At least this is what I was able to figure out with my Spanglish.

We all fell in love with Arica. It is a desert with tons of sunshine. The locals were beyond friendly and went out of their way to please. I think I would love to return there one day soon.

As we entered the port, we were greeted with this image.

Since cars were not allowed up the hill to see the view, we were unable to climb to the top. Neither Raquel or I were inclined to push Dennis up the hill. In reality, I wasn't all that interested in the hike and Dennis made a good excuse for laziness.

As we feasted on cheese empanadas, fries, spicy chicken and cold beers, I knew I had landed in a little piece of heaven.

Ann and Dennis

Mother Follow Up

I received a phone call from the President of the facility where Ma had recently been living. Paul and I had met him on the Sunday that Mother was found dead. He was polite and empathetic at that time. Today he impressed me even more.

He called to tell me that the Social Worker had been wrong, and that we did not need to pay for the month of December. But first he offered up sincere condolences, and then let me know that the whole staff had been meeting to try and figure out just what went wrong. I mentioned my concerns about having stairs open to clients, and a wooded area on the grounds that clients were able to access. This wooded area then led to a crevice where Mother was eventually found. I was very adamant about the fact that I wanted these issues addressed. He assured me that these issues were being considered.

I told him that the coroner's office suggested that I report the incident to the Department of Health. The President dude told me that they had self-reported. This made me feel better.

Then he let me know that the staff was having a difficult time with this whole incident. Mother was well liked - she was joyful and loved the staff. I did let him know that I was not holding my mother's death against anyone in particular, but I was angry with the situation in general. Again, he understood.

The cynic will say that he was covering his butt. I can be a cynic, but I can also be too trusting. My intuition tells me that he was sincere, and would accept blame when and if it came to that. I can admire a boss that will accept blame before he lets his employees get beat upon. Thank the gods that I have a cynical brother and sister to keep me in check! We are a great balance, the three of us.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

A Mother Day

Today was a day with Mother. This means a 2 hour drive, a visit with repetitive conversations, a confused woman, and a woman who really, really needs to work hard on her patience. Today we were both able to laugh and hide our frustrations.

Mom is moving up to Minneapolis in two weeks to move into an assisted living apartment very near me. She wants to, which is a blessing, but she is overwhelmed. This is understandable. I have tried to take away as much of the decision making as possible, by choosing her apartment and setting up the details. She, however, was the one to make the final decision about changing the city she lives in for the rest of her life.

Today, I went to take care of some business, but also help her decide on what she would take. I told her she had room for 2 chairs and a table, and then asked which she would like to take. She couldn't decide. I told her she had room for art work, and should take 2 or 3 paintings. She told me to pick them out. Thankfully, I knew she liked the Cassatt and then she picked out a Picasso (that surprised me!).

I know this is hard. I know she really doesn't care what she is surrounded with in her new home. I really don't think she cares about much of anything, anymore. I think moving her into her own apartment with people her own age will be good for her. She is already talking about how she will go out of her way to meet other people. She was excited about "movie night" and thought she would like to take in some movies. Her attitude is good.

This post was a ramble, I know.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Money and Care

I have been trying to find my mother a decent place to live in an assisted living complex. It seems like it should be easy, but I am finding out that it is not. Every single place is completely different in what they offer. Some rooms have only a bed and a sitting area, others have full bathrooms and full kitchens, and yet others, have no private bathroom at all.

I remember last year when Dennis was in after care at a nursing facility, and how much he hated the place and the experience. It made him feel old and useless. I actually think he deteriorated more by staying in the facility than he would have had he been at home.

It also comes down to money. Private pay gets you a better place, but there is only so much money in this world. I can find better places in Minneapolis, but they are even more expensive.

It seems very unfair to me, given my mom's and Dennis' conditions, that money should be a factor in the type of care that they get. Shouldn't the sick and old get the best care, no matter what the financial status of the person? Something in our system is very broken.