Monday, I returned to work. The start of a new year changes year to year. Some years are all about meetings, other years a teacher actually has time to set up. School staff changes regularly, and we have a week together, before kids, to bond. The mood for the entire school year is set throughout this first week back to school.
I arrived at school about 15 minutes before our duty day began. In the course of that time, at least 10 people asked about Dennis. I decided, if the occasion came up, that I would merely tell the staff about the diagnosis, the prognosis and let them know about my taking time off during the school year. Given that last year was not the most friendly working year of my school career, I did not expect many positive remarks. My best case scenario, if given the chance to divulge, was, in my mind, ambivalence.
The opportunity did arise, and I let staff know what was up and what my plan was for the year. I was amazed at the eye contact and head nods that were given in my direction.
One of the toughest staff members approached me on Tuesday, and gave me a huge hug. She told me that I said something powerful, about not letting work stand in the way of being with the man I love. Another teacher, telling me about a former student who is really ill, told me she knew that I would understand the needs of the family. My boss, whose daughter is severely disabled, cheered with me as I let her know that a PCA had shown up, on time, two days in a row.
Perhaps, at times, I let people know too much. I imagine it makes me vulnerable. At the same time, I believe, when you open yourself up, others rise to the occasion. There are those who will never care, or understand. I can't spend my energy worrying about them. I am only able to focus on what is pleasant in life, and today, the people I work with lightened up my life.
Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with Shy-Drager, Multiple System Atrophy and many supporters
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