Girlfriends

Raquel showed up today and I could run a few more of those dreaded errands. Dennis and I used to have a shared-chores deal. He would do the bank, write out the checks for the bills, do the dishes and mow the lawn. He also did some of the laundry, but never, ever my clothes. I would do the cooking, the housework, the garden and my own laundry. We shared the grocery shopping. Naturally, these lines blurred more often than they were clear cut, but for the most part it worked out quite well for us.

Now I do it all. I know, many of you live alone and do it all by yourself, too. I've been single more often in my life than in a partnership, so I know how all of that works. However, it's different now. I am doing all of my own chores and errands as well as doing the chores and errands that are simply a result of his illness. Some days I get weary.

Today was not a weary day, I just wanted to whine there for a minute. Excusea bit of self-indulgence, please, just this one time. Truth be told, I will whine again, but let's just pretend that this is the only time you will hear me complain. It makes me feel better to genuinely believe that I am always positive and happy and all that.

Actually, today was quite pleasant, except for that spell where Dennis' blood pressure dropped and stayed quite low for a few hours. It scares the hell out of me when this happens, mostly because he looks so helpless. He was eating and couldn't swallow the last bite of food. He tried, but it just wasn't going down. He simply did not have the energy to swallow.

What made the day nice today was receiving a package in the mail. A friend, Charleen, who I have actually never met, sent Dennis a lapghan. A lapghan is like an afghan, only smaller so it works nicely with a wheelchair. She also sent this beautiful note telling us how it is filled with love, and that since she loves me, and I love Dennis, she loves Dennis, too. Can life get much sweeter than this?

Then he shed a tear or two, and old stoic me did the same, but behind his back, and then I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

Until tomorrow,

Ann and Dennis