I am up at 3:00 AM. Dennis is squawking and breathing heavy, but that's probably not why I cannot sleep. Some nights, sleep is just not easy.
A reader left a comment the other day for another reader. It was regarding how do you know when it's time to move a loved one from home to another living situation.
How do you know?
From his short stint in an after care program at a nursing home 2 1/2 years ago, I know that Dennis would quickly die if he were put in a nursing home. We have talked and have decided that when he is ready to let go, I will cut off the feeding at night and have hospice care in the home.
But I know that is not the right choice for everyone.
I was lucky with my mother, too. When my father died last year, she decided she wanted to live near me, but not with me. She and my father had the discussion years ago, and knew they would never want to live with their children. I don't know what that says about us kids, but I choose to believe they were asking what was right for all of us.
It's not easy to know when to make a change, but I do believe that by talking honestly, you come to the best decision for everyone. You may (probably will) make mistakes along the way, but if it is done with love, I am positive it will work out in the long run.
Until later,
Ann and Dennis
2 comments:
Such a difficult decision! When my mom was declining in health, I worried about having to take her out of her own home into some other arrangement. She was fiercely independent and would have declined more rapidly, I think, if she had been in any other type of facility. She died at home, with her dignity.
I admire those people who have the strength to care for their loved one(s) at home yet also understand that not everyone is able to do that.
((((HUGS))))
No, Ruth, it's not for everyone. In some ways, Dennis' illness has brought us closer together, but I think if my mother lived with me, I might just have gone way over the edge.
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