Post Vacation

How was California, Ann?

50 degrees warmer than Minnesota, wine tastings and a taste of both mountains and ocean in one week. Now throw in a a spa treatment most days, a nice upgrade in our room with a private jacuzzi, and free breakfast delivered to you door each morning. It was a slow vacation, with few agendas and meant to be completely relaxing. 100 percent self-indulgence vacation!

We set a nice plan in place - spa, eat, taste and sleep in a setting known for relaxation.

And, for the most part, it worked out that way. But, as we are all trying hard to accept, MSA makes even the greatest plan difficult to implement without major changes.

For example, a visit to a winery.

You drive until you find one that sounds interesting, or one that you have picked out. Then you fork over a few bucks for a tasting. They pour, describe and try to encourage a purchase. You sip, discuss the tastes and toss out the extras. You either buy or you don't and you drive off to your next destination.

Easy peasy, right? But reality sets in when you put the plan into action.

First there was the bathroom - everywhere the bathroom becomes a problem. We find our first winery, and get ready for a tasting of 6 red wines. First one is poured, and Dennis has to take a poop. We make it to the bathroom just in time, and about 10 minutes later, we are back to taste the wine that has been sitting waiting for us. At least it had plenty of breathing time.

Into our second taste, Dennis says he must return to the bathroom. 15 minutes later, we are back at the bar, and Dennis is depleted from all the up and downs of bathroom life. We head back to the hotel for a jacuzzi.

Or, for another example, a spa treatment.

Normally, you jump up on the table, get massaged in very assorted ways with a variety of oils and creams. When done, you feel relaxed and rejuvenated and fork over a big tip out of gratitude for the renewed feelings in your mind and body.

Then, it is Dennis' turn for his massage. So I took my relaxed body, and shoved, and pushed Dennis up onto the table and pushed more until he was on his stomach, face in the right place for breathing. Then 30 minutes later, someone comes looking for me to flop him over. then it is up from the table and a long push of the chair back to the room. Dress both of us, feed Dennis, insert his pills, shower and dress myself, and on and on. When all is said and done, the aches in the back have returned and I am ready for a nap.

It was a great get away. I just need to accept these changes in traveling with Dennis. And I can - it's for the sake of a vacation away from home, after all.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Happy Holidays, One and All

Merry Christmas!

from Ann and Dennis, to all of our family, friends and followers.

301

Just a cool note to share...

This is my 301st post.

Cool, huh?

Until Later,
Ann and Dennis

Happy Holidays, One and All

Jane and I were trying to explain to ourselves why we miss Mother, more than we do Father. I believe it because we felt little responsibility for Father's life, but Mother was under our care, or tutelage, in a manner of speaking, when she died. And therefore we bare some of the responsibility.

We all "coulda, woulda, shoulda", in Mother's case. We all knew she was a klutz for most of her life-time. We all knew that she was easily led astray by her very own thoughts. We all could have done better, if we had all foreseen the outcome. We all should have been more aware of what was happening, if we hadn't all been living our own lives. We all would have done otherwise, if only we had known of the details of the outcome.

With Father, he had always been invincible. He played the stoic man; full of emotional, physical and intellectual strength that was required of a father of a boomer family. But he worked hard at maintaining his stature,and we allowed him his invincible stature.

This will be an odd Christmas - the first without a parent. While this happens to all of us at sometime, it is the first for us. We will enjoy ourselves, and we will be happy. But it will be just a bit bitter sweet as we open presents this year.

I won't be around for a week, or more. On the 26th Dennis and I are headed for a spa/resort in Napa Valley. I am looking forward to a massage and a facial. Naturally, I am also looking forward to great California wine.

Until later, Ann and Dennis

Winter Break

It's been over a week since I last wrote. I apologize, but it has been rather busy.

Dennis was in the hospital until Monday evening. He had another swallow video, and this time they are recommending thickening all liquids to honey consistency. This should cut down on his Coke intake, at the very least. They also took him off of his night time sedatives, because they seem to be causing his throat to relax too much.

The first night home was horrendous. "ur ee." "i illo uffica e." "ake eh eel air off eh ed!!" (Turn me, my pillow is suffocating me and take the wheel chair off of the bed). These hallucinations went on most of the night, and I crawled back to work the next morning.

He has improved since then. Well, he did ask me if it was time for him to go to hospice care, and other such nonsense. After reminding him that he promised he would live for at least another year, he calmed down a bit.

Then...

We went to the Mayo Clinic for a yearly follow-up appointment. After all the poking and prodding, the questioning and the tests, he was declared to be still in stage 4 of his disease. Now this is good news. Although a few of his symptoms have become more problematic lately, he hasn't deteriorated to the point of knocking on deaths door. Or, in MSA speak, another autonomic system has not been affected since last year.

This is good news to take us into the holiday season. Jane and Ralph arrived yesterday from London and Dennis and I leave for wine country in California in one week. It should be a good two week vacation for me, with my now cheered up love and family around, as well as a spa retreat with great California wine!

Happy holidays, one and all.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Er, again...but first a RN visit and an Urgent Care Visit

Yesterday, Dennis woke up convinced something was wrong with him. He had an appointment with the nurse practitioner at Struther's for a general check up. He mentioned he felt something stuck in his throat. Nothing found. Raquel was with us to meet the staff at Struther's and then give me a few hours for boring stuff. I warned Dennis that I would prefer that he dealt with his health earlier rather than later in the day.

After the appointment I went grocery shopping and Dennis and Raquel went to the Courage Center. Halfway through the grocery store, my cell started ringing. Raquel requesting that I meet she and Dennis at Urgent Care. I finished my shopping, put the frozen and the fridge items away, and headed back to the clinic. Good, Dennis hadn't waited until 9 pm to deal with his recent problem.

UC found some possible concerns, but "just watch your breathing, temp and sweating" (and decide if you are sicker that I think you are and hope your insurance will cover your current problem...and other such cynical stuff) was the answer. With another prescription for an anti-biotic in my hand, we headed home.

Dennis went to bed and I decided to have a bottle of wine...

Then, just when I tucked myself into bed, was nice and comfy in Minnesota winter, a bit drunk on wine, this is when Dennis decided we needed to call 911.

It's not cheap to call 911. At least not under my insurance plan. And right now we are in another insurance change - my employer (wow, 900 a month for shit!) to medicare. More on this later, I know.

But when Dennis decides that he wants to call 911, I dial that phone. The last few times, he fought me tooth and nail.

So the ER for three hours, then a decision to keep him over-night, and I finally get a good nights sleep.

More to come.

Until tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Sunday

After a long two weeks, I spent the majority of Saturday in bed. I had planned on painting, but didn't have the energy to pick up the brushes and put the paint on the canvas. Today, I woke, refreshed and started the day out painting.

For the past 4 months, Sundays have been hectic for me. First I had to get myself ready, then Dennis, then pick up my mother to bring her to our place. Often she would need to stop at a grocery store or Walgreen's along the way. Then I would make lunch for the three of us, watch football (yuck, yuck and double, triple yuck) with Dennis and Mother. Sometimes Hamed and Ashley would join us. Then it was clean up, and return Mother to her apartment, do some chores around her apartment, and then return home to take care of Dennis. Whew. I am tired once again just thinking about this routine.

This Sunday I am experiencing very mixed feelings. Two weeks ago is when Paul was here and Mother was found dead. All that drama is something I am having a difficult time getting out of my head. Last week was not about Mother, but Jane and Ralph came over, so it wasn't quite like this Sunday.

Today, the morning was leisurely. Dennis slept in so I was able to get 2 hours of painting in before getting him ready. I made breakfast and Dennis retired to his room for a few hours while I played on the computer and listened to acoustical Sunday on Cities 97. Then, around 1:00 we headed to Bunny's for bar food and a beer.

Dennis and I had a few short conversations about Mother and Sundays at Bunny's. I expressed my mixed emotions - having Sundays back again and at the same time wishing Mother was still alive. Dennis told me how he hated when his parents took him to a bar to eat, and I told him we never were inside a bar as kids. He then wondered what his life might have been like if he had the opportunity to have good parents like I did.

I guess I really am one of the lucky ones in this world. My parents were good to us, even if they were a bit too strict for my wishes. As adults, they still remained good to all of us, and stood by us through any and all of our mistakes.

Bye Bye Mom and Dad

Mother Follow Up

I received a phone call from the President of the facility where Ma had recently been living. Paul and I had met him on the Sunday that Mother was found dead. He was polite and empathetic at that time. Today he impressed me even more.

He called to tell me that the Social Worker had been wrong, and that we did not need to pay for the month of December. But first he offered up sincere condolences, and then let me know that the whole staff had been meeting to try and figure out just what went wrong. I mentioned my concerns about having stairs open to clients, and a wooded area on the grounds that clients were able to access. This wooded area then led to a crevice where Mother was eventually found. I was very adamant about the fact that I wanted these issues addressed. He assured me that these issues were being considered.

I told him that the coroner's office suggested that I report the incident to the Department of Health. The President dude told me that they had self-reported. This made me feel better.

Then he let me know that the staff was having a difficult time with this whole incident. Mother was well liked - she was joyful and loved the staff. I did let him know that I was not holding my mother's death against anyone in particular, but I was angry with the situation in general. Again, he understood.

The cynic will say that he was covering his butt. I can be a cynic, but I can also be too trusting. My intuition tells me that he was sincere, and would accept blame when and if it came to that. I can admire a boss that will accept blame before he lets his employees get beat upon. Thank the gods that I have a cynical brother and sister to keep me in check! We are a great balance, the three of us.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis