Night Time Sleep

I take for granted, night after night, that I can roll over, move around, and adjust my pillows at any time I want or need. I prefer not to wake up and feel the desire to move about, but when I do, I know that I am able to fulfill my middle of the night needs easily.

Dennis is not able to adjust himself, or his pillows, or his covers any longer. He is also not all that understandable in the middle of the night. So we have developed a code, of sorts, for what he needs. These code words, or sounds, keep both of us from wanting to kill each other in the middle of the night.

"Turn me." Or, "R E." takes me about three or four tries to comprehend. It takes more time than necessary in part because I am often pretending not to hear him, and in part because I am a sound sleeper. When I have figured out that he needs to turn, we then need to communicate which way he wants to move. Is his right or left hip bothering him? Towards the window or towards the bathroom?

Each move has it's own specific problems. There are the placement of the pads beneath him, which are an incredible help in moving him. Are they far enough to the right or left to pull or push? Will they still be underneath him after the move? And, if he wants to move towards the window, will there be enough room left over for me to lay in bed? Or towards the bathroom, is there enough bed left to keep him from falling out of bed?

Then the pillows become yet another issue. Each move requires the lifting of his head and neck and tucking of the pillows underneath him. Finally the covers. Covingtons we affectionately call the whole business. No covingtons, more covingtons, or "ah ing tn, please."

I really take for granted the ability to be completely comfortable all on my own. For Dennis, he needs help and lots of help. Sometimes I begrudgingly give him the help he needs, other times, I am more understanding. And then there are the nights that I just pretend that he has not woken me up from a deep sleep.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Diarrhea or Constipation?

Okay, it's back to the poop story again. Dennis found Activia, which seems to control his constipation. Unfortunately, it brings on massive diarrhea, and loss of bowel control. It ain't pretty.

I don't believe that by eating Activia on a daily basis, he has changed this drastically. He has gone from sitting on the toilet, grunting, for hours on end to now messing himself all day long, day after day.

I left a message on the nurse line today. This isn't normal. This does not bode well for future bathroom problems. I think I am about to learn something new - something I wish I could live without knowing.

He is not feeling good about himself. Of course he is not. But it doesn't do either of us any good to pout about what we are unable to control. Perhaps there is an easy answer to this newest of problems. Now wouldn't that be nice?

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Super Pubic Catheter

Dennis and I had a consult with a urologist today that does prostrate surgery. Dennis has decided to have a super pubic catheter placed instead of the Foley catheter that he currently uses for his urinary issues.

For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about, a Foley catheter enters through the penis. An SP, or super pubic, bypasses the penis and inserted directly into the bladder through the pubic area. I have no idea what this will look like, but happily, only a few of us will ever have to see the whole business in it's entirety.

We are waiting, however, for the actual surgery until August. We have so much to do in regards to my mom in June and we hope to visit Ireland in July. Surgery before we leave the country, even if it is minor, seems reckless. Why test fate if you do not need to?

Dennis is looking forward to this change. He complains of discomfort constantly with his current catheter. Then again, Dennis is prone to whining, anyway. Just another one of the reasons that I love him.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Love You, Dad

Last May, my family got together for my mother's 80th birthday and my parent's 60th wedding anniversary. At the time my brother suggested that the next time we would all be together would be for a funeral. He was right, of course.

My father was my most faithful blog reader. When I first started writing, I made a vow to write everyday for a year. I had just completed the book, Julie and Julia, and figured if she could do it, I could do it. However, I wasn't able to keep up with the task. When I first missed a day of blogging, dad called me and asked if everything was okay. Eventually, after a few of those phone calls, I had the blog delivered to his email every time I wrote a new entry.

When I was rummaging around his papers last week, looking for unpaid bills (there was only one) and such, I found many of my blog entries printed out for mom and dad to read. You would always know that the two of them had read them, because they would make some reference to them during on weekly Sunday phone calls. I will need to call upon a friend, now, to print them out and bring them to mother, for she no longer uses the computer.

I will miss my father for so many reasons. But here, on this blog, I will miss my most faithful reader.

To dad. May you rest in complete peace.

Love, Ann

Dad

My dad died. 

He was out mowing the lawn and he simply went down and died. 

He was my most loyal supporter and loved me deeply. I will miss him very much. 

Until later,

Ann and Dennis

Dennis Is Not Alone

I have been receiving a few emails from care-givers, lately. It seems there are a few undiagnosed Parkinson's related diseases existing in the world. They all have quite a bit in common, but none completely match what Dennis is going through.

Something is fishy. I don't believe anyone is out there, hiding the truth from us - I am not a complete nut - but, there seems to be a few too many undiagnosed, neurological disorders that is complicating the lives of too many baby boomers.

Or, perhaps, these diseases have always been in existence.

It really does not matter. Dennis is suffering from a disease his brain is controlling. Or, perhaps it is a disease that his brain lacks control over. We don't know what it is, this nasty thing. There is no stopping this disorder, not right now. We can somewhat control the symptoms, but we cannot stop the progression. Not today.

I hope someday the medical world will figure out how the brain works, how to fix malfunctions and how to keep the brain from interfering with everyone living the best life. This most likely will not happen in Dennis' lifetime. Maybe none of our lifetimes. But it seems to me, it should be at least pursued a bit more aggressively.

And now.........

Dennis' most recent visit to the Struther's clinic revealed one more problem that will be keeping the two of us our toes. Dennis is in the early stages of diabetes.

Those of you that have spent time with Dennis, know about his passion for Coke, pies of any flavor and ice cream. You will not be surprised at this diagnosis. While I was not caught completely off guard, I still was not prepared.

I must admit being tired of learning about medical conditions and all of the related issues that accompany any illness. I feel like we are still trying to learn about how to deal with his swallowing problems. And now a new diet issue to incorporate into our lives.

We are taking the day off, today. We slept in, took naps, ordered pizza and watched movies. Tomorrow we will have the energy, once again, to deal with the changes life brings.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Such a Sweetie

Dennis visited with Jean, the nurse practitioner who works with Dr. Nance, today. He hasn't told me much about the visit, but he brought home a copy of a letter she wrote to his insurance company on his behalf.

She, like everyone else he encounters, noted his upbeat attitude and contagious smile. I love his goofy laugh and very peculiar sense of humor even more. Most of all, I love that he can still make me laugh.

Dennis has so many wonderful attributes that are getting lost in the mire of this awful disease. At least his humor, his enjoyment of life, has not disappeared. For that, I feel very lucky.

New Changes

Raquel is off for three days on personal business. Our back-ups were unavailable, so I am home to be full time care-giver. Unfortunately, he does not see me as his PCA during this time, so I don't get paid. But I do get all of his undying attention.

Today we went to the urologist. Dennis has decided that he wants a different catheter; an upper pelvic cath. Instead of going through the penis to the bladder, this one goes directly to the bladder from below the belly button. It sounds strange, but not much stranger than anything else we have encountered over the past few years.

It was only a couple of years ago that Dennis began to collect canes. Just when his collection started getting interesting, more changes came along. It was diapers, layered, to prevent urine leaks. Next it was a walker, then a catheter, and now a wheel chair full time. He tucks his chin to drink, and mushes and chops his food to a "mechanical soft."

Ah, you have heard all of this before. It's just one more change, just one new and different experience. But we aren't living in his body, are we?

I am so sorry, Dennis, that your body has decided to fail you. Just know that you are still loved, and I am lucky to have you in my life.

Shiva Gets a Bath

I noticed cat hair flying all over this morning, and decided to give Shiva a bath.

I've always believed that cat bathing was not an easy project. I have bathed many a dog in the past, and while most do not like the whole ordeal, for the most part they put up with the process. They also still love you when all is said and done.

I did research on the web, first, and was prepared for the worst. Screaming, screeching, perhaps growling and baring teeth were likely to take place. I also expected that I would not see hide nor hair of the girl for a while.

It turned out not to be any worse than bathing a dog. She did cry during most of the process, and tried to escape once or twice. But she never completely put her ears back and never growled at me. When I wrapped her up in a towel and hugged her up, she ever purred a bit. I rubbed her and she snuggled back.

I still expected her to run and hide after I put her down, but she stayed close by me for the rest of the morning. She didn't seem the least bit mad at me.

Ya learn something new everyday, with every experience.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis