Being Ann

My parents both had complicated names. My mother's was Avyril Maxine Peterson, and my father's was Robert Steinsland Osterhus. Actually, my mother got the worst of the deals after she and dad got married. This is probably unnecessary to say, but that is how the three of us kids ended up with one syllable first names; Paul, Ann, Jane.

Like most names, people have taken advantage of even 'Ann' as a way to tease, delight or be a bit rude. I don't suppose any name is immune to being twisted and turned into something different.

But the only thing that ever bothered me was when someone was saying "and" and I would hear "Ann." Mostly this happened at school. The teacher would be lecturing and saying something dull and useless, and then he would say "and.........?". Hearing "Ann.....?", I would answer, "Yes?", and everyone would stare at me. Oops, caught day-dreaming again.

Sometimes my siblings would also take advantage of 'Ann' and 'and'. There was always a bit of delight when a Christmas gift tag said "Paul And Jane". Ha. Ha. Ha.

Now I am facing another way the name Ann is giving me something else to dismay me.

Dennis' grunts are becoming more and more easily mixed up with my name.

As Dennis' speech deteriorates, many words are becoming simply vowels. For a long while my name was "Annnnnnnnnnnnn...Annnnnnnnnnnnn...Annnnnnnnnn", but now it is simply "aaaaa..aaaaaaaaa..aaaaaaaaaa." This is not easily distinguished from "Ehhhhh...ehhhh...ehhh" or "Uuuuuuu...uuuu...uuuuu".

So I find myself getting up and checking on him even more often that he actually does call me. Last night I was up twice only to figure out that he was just grunting in his sleep. This afternoon, I checked on a grunt more often than I checked on his "Ann".

And that's what life is like being Ann.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Sundowners

Sundowners disease.

Cyndi, my non-SIL in California, first mentioned this to me last spring when we were trying to figure out what to do with Mother for the rest of her life. She did quite a bit of online research, and it made sense.

Then, as I was reading the thoughts and writings of other boomers, I heard other people mention this new phenomenon. It seems people with Alzheimer's Disease get more confused and frustrated once the sun sets.

Today, I fully witnessed this phenomenon.

We had Hamed and Ashely over for their birthdays. We broiled steaks, had wine (Ashely turned 21!) and then watched football. It was the Vikings (Dennis's and Hamed's team favorite team) vs the Packers (Ma's team), but they didn't play until 3:15. Dennis had playfully made Ma put on a Vikings jersey and he wore his very own. Everyone, including Ashley and me (we both dislike football), were enjoying the game and sharing stories.

About 5:00, the sun began to set. First Dennis said he needed to lay down. Once I had him in bed, I asked Hamed if he would drive Mother back to JH. Then she began to fidget. "You can take me home whenever...", "Is the game almost over? I want to see the end, but, does Hamed know where I live?" "Is it dinner time? Did I eat dinner?" "Do they need to walk me up? Do I need to check in?"

Finally, I admitted defeat. I needed to take Mother back to her home. As soon as I said, "Let's go, Mom, I will drive you home," she settled down and we left immediately. She wanted to get into her pajamas immediately and get into bed when we entered her room.

On the drive back I was wondering if light therapy would help those with neurological disorders. I must remember to look that up.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Sunday Woes

Okay, I admit that this post is a complete whine. I am feeling sorry for myself in the biggest way. I also know that I will get over this latest gripe in my life and move on to better things. However, it is my prerogative to whine, and your choice to read or leave this behind.

It is football season. To many, this is a reason to celebrate. For me, it is what hell would look like if I believed in such a place. Ever since the Packers found Lombardi and then Brett Starr, I hated football. It was noisy, too competitive and it irritated the hell out of me. Then, moving to Minnesota during the heyday and the likes of the ladies man, Tommy Kramer, I really began to hate the game.

However, everyone around me seemed to love the game. I learned to deal with one Sunday game, and then the game expanded to Monday nights, then Thursday nights and then Sunday day and night. A girl, like me, can only tolerate so much.

So enter the era of Mother living in Minneapolis, and Dennis being a sports fan. Couple this with Sunday being the day I have selected to have Mother hang with us, and you may find one unhappy Ann for the next few months.

I need to find a way to trick them both into wanting to do anything other than watch football.

Today I read, cooked, cleaned up and started tomorrows dinner during the game. It still was only half time after all of that.

In the meantime, I moved mom and Dennis to and from the table, 3 times. I went for a walk at half time with Mother. I even tried watching the game for a while. But, all I was doing was going a bit nuttier than usual. Always, in the back ground, was this irritating noise, and two people cheering over young boys in peddle pushers throwing a ball around. A few years ago, I could have at least appreciated the beauty of the young boys, but now they simply look like the children with whom I work. Yuck.

I will need to figure out a new plan for next Sunday. Clearly, this one is not working. Wish me luck, please.

Until later
Ann and Dennis

My Sister is Home, for a While

My sis and bro-in-law are here, in Minneapolis, for the next two weeks. They live in London and we don't see enough of each other. They have not seen our new place, or met our new kitty, Shiva. We will have lots of stuff to catch up on, but mostly, it's just about hanging out together.

Jane and I have had our ups and downs, like any sisters do. But, for the most part, we have always gotten along. We have been there for each other when life stinks and when life is worth celebrating. We have, for the most part, accepted each other's partners, and supported each other when partners have been great or not so great.

Right now, we both have wonderful partners. Ralph, Jane's new husband, is adorable. Furthermore, he has this really cute English accent. What is best, however, about Ralph, is that he loves my sister.

Jane also adores Dennis. And, lucky enough, Dennis thinks she is pretty great, too. They have been there for each other in many ways over the past few years.

Jane and Ralph have many commitments while they are back here, in Minneapolis. Hamed, my parents, us, friends and just staying alive will keep them pretty busy. But for a few weeks, I will have my sister in town, Dennis will have one of his best friends in town, and we will both have Ralph around to make fun of, in our Minnesota nice way.

It's nice to have family.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with Shy-Drager, Multiple System Atrophy and far away family at home, for a bit

My Parents

Last Friday, Dennis and I met my parents in North Hudson for lunch at a nice Italian restaurant. We have met for lunch several times this year, half-way between each of our homes. We don't live that far apart, less than a two hours drive. Still, these days, shaving off an hour or two on a round trip is easier for all of us.

When Dennis and I were in Paris, mom and dad were taking a walk, when mom tripped and fell to the ground. Mom has never been full of grace, and has fallen before. This time, though, she broke her arm just above the elbow and her front teeth chipped and pushed through her upper lip. Naturally, it was her right arm that broke, and she hasn't been able to do tasks skillfully with her left arm and hand.

Now it is eight weeks later, her cast was off, she has completed some physical therapy, her teeth are fixed and there is only a tiny bruise remaining on her lip. She looked good and could eat her entire meal.

It's fun, and often interesting, getting together with my parents. My mother's and Dennis' lives seem to parallel each other at times. My father and I are going through the same sort of issues, too. We all get frustrated with our partners in different ways, but there is so much empathy and understanding among all of us.

I am fortunate to have both of my parents still alive and reasonably healthy. Dennis thinks of them as his own parents, and loves them unconditionally, as I do. It's good to have family.

Until tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with Shy-Drager, Multiple System Atrophy and loving family

Picture and A Story Friday

Dennis and I both come from small families. This is a picture of most of the Cote side of the family. Present are his niece Caroline, who is about to hatch in December, his sister and brother-in-law, Donna and Louie, and the two of us.Missing are his niece, Katie, and Caroline's husband, Stuart.

Family. You really don't want to live with them, but you sure can't live without them either. Dennis really appreciated this visit by his sister's family. Even though we can spend time with most of my family quite often, it's different than spending time with your own flesh and blood.

We chuckled as Dennis and Donna shared stories about growing up. We shared a few belly laughs over a story about Louie's first experience with Chili Con Carne when Donna, and he were first dating. Caroline and Dennis relived some game called 'bad mommy' that was played when Dennis baby-sat for the girls.

We had a nice visit, and have a few more memories to reflect upon over the next few years.

Ann and Dennis,
Living with Shy-Drager, Multiple System Atrophy and two loving families

Family Sunday

It's Sunday, and we are having my family for lunch. It's not a big affair, just my nephew and his girlfriend and my mom and dad for a few hours. Then we are driving to my nephew's new home, just a bit over a mile from our new home. Dad and mom, as well as Dennis, have not seen the house that Hamed has purchased.

I take pleasure in these days, actually.

I like showing off my home. I like putting together a meal that will satisfy everyone. I enjoy fussing over little things, down to even the ice cubes. I usually create something new, this time a chicken, cherry and pasta salad, and offering a few old standards, too.

What I don't like is the clean-up after it is all over. I imagine you are questioning, "Who does?". You haven't met my family, have you? Not one person in my family is what you could vaguely call a neat freak. Actually, we are all a bit messy. The upside of coming from a messy family is no one has expectations for seeing a house spotless. The downside is, obviously, the mess you produce.

Maybe, just for today, I could enjoy the work after the party as much as I do the work before the party. I am going to give this a try. I will let you know how it goes.

PS: All went well, the family was neat and we had fun. I enjoyed the clean-up, but only because I have a dishwasher for the first time in years.

Until Tomorrow,

Ann and Dennis