Dennis Falls Out of Bed

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Dennis fell out of bed this morning and had to sleep on the floor. I am not sure if he is going to get any sleep, I know that I am not.

He was fussy all night. First he had to turn this way, and then that way. Then he got his hand stuck under him and wanted it moved out. After about 12:00 (I should have just watched to new Conan show), I knew sleep was not going to happen tonight. It was one thing after another. Finally he wanted to sit up in bed. I never like doing this, because he tips so easily, but he was insistent. About 20 minutes later I heard the thud. Dennis had fallen on the floor. At least there were no bruises or any blood. We have been extremely lucky.

And while Raquel and I broke the hoyer lift out of it's place of hiding, we never got around to practicing with it last week. So for tonight Dennis will have to do the rest of his fussing while laying on the floor.

It's been a difficult two or three weeks. A fall last weekend, an unannounced trip to the hospital last weekend, problems with medicaid and now this. Each problem takes its toll on each of us. I am so glad that I decided to retire. And now I am really looking forward to our cruise in 3 weeks. We need a break from reality for a bit.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis 

Another Fall

It's late Sunday and we are covered in vomit and poop and a bit of blood. Dennis went out for one of his infamous walk for poo cruises around the hall with me. It was obvious he wasn't going a second round about half way through.

Then he got anxious. "I'm gonna fall...I'm gonna fall...I'm gonna fall..." Repeat, repeat and repeat again until the wish comes true.

And so, just a few feet shy of the bathroom, he did fall. And he took me down with him. After untangling ourselves, a few incompetent attempts at getting him up at the floor, I called 911. "He's fallen and I can't get him up." If I hadn't been so out of breath and frustrated, I probably would have laughed at what came out of my mouth.

The rescue team came quickly and the three of us were able to get him up into his chair.

It's time to break out the Hoyer.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Weary on Sunday

This morning Dennis went to the hospital once again, to have his J/G tube replaced. Although all went well, it's difficult to not feel defeated some days.

Yesterday....

Dennis couldn't eat. Dennis couldn't move. I was snappy with him. Jane and Ralph came over to drop off a pie for Dennis (you have NO idea how much this man likes his pie), and Dennis was on the toilet. An hour passed and they left. He could not eat the pie. Not one teeny tiny bite.

He couldn't move well all day, Sunday. No matter how many meds we poured into him, he was stiff and immobile. He finally went to bed at 6PM. He was groaning and moaning, as is often normal, when I heard a big THUNK. He had fallen out of bed, face first.

No harm had been done, once again, but two falls in one week is a huge set-back. This can't be happening, once again.

But tomorrow we are off for a weeks vacation - Boston and Cape Cod, with family. Hopefully vacation will pick both of us up once again.

So, until much later,
Ann and Dennis

A Fall

Sunday, Dennis begged me to get him out of the house. I really wanted to stay home, relish in my new retired life, and just stare at the plants in the south and west corner of our condo, with the ceiling to floor windows. . But I gave in, as I usually do.

The plan was to drive to Lake Calhoun, one of the 10,000 lakes in our state, and sit on a bench and play the game of Guess. Guess is a fun game that most peepers and eaves droppers do on a daily basis - who is that stranger passing by and what are they talking about and then make up stories.

Then I remembered that my favorite boutique was having a side-walk sale. I mean really, who can pass up 75% off at their favorite store?

That's when Dennis fell. He had wanted to walk a bit, and was looking for dresses for me. He always has liked to pick out clothes for me. But he was standing still, and that is when he is most vulnerable to a fall. His back was to me and mine to his, and he just fell.

Since we were on grass, and my body broke the fall, no permanent harm was done. With the help of a passer-by, we were able to get him back in his chair, with only a few small errors, in short order. But he was shook up and so was I.

Dennis hasn't had a damaging fall in a very long time. He takes many precautions to avoid falls. When he does any walking outside the house he generally wears a helmet. Sometimes he also wears plastic padded hockey pants and hockey elbow pads. He has never had a fall when he gears up and even though the helmet was in the car, we didn't think of putting it on his head.

We did not make it to the lake. We both wanted to go home where it was safe. But, really, we should have just put the helmet on, and he never would have had that fall. I know, woulda, coulda, shoulda, but it was a lesson learned.

From now on, the helmet is a permanent fixture on his big old head. An ounce of prevention is still worth a pound of cure.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Falls

Dennis has fallen 3 times this week. The first time he was sitting on the toilet. The second time he was standing in his office, and yesterday he fell in the kitchen.

He has been more careful the past 2 years, and the falls have been few. Even so, obviously they have started to increase. This is not good news. But, it is still workable news.

We have had a toilet seat riser, since we moved last year. It worked for a while, but Dennis has been needing increased support while sitting on the toilet. He requires a steady seat, and a riser does not provide this. It doesn't help that we have hard landing in the bathroom with tiles. Carpeting is out of the question.

Today, we will be checking out other solutions to the toilet problem. I don't know if there are risers that are sturdier, or if we need a new, high rise toilet. Conversely, maybe we need to add some more bars around the toilet.

One problem with MSA, is that there are so many unknowns. I never, in my wildest dreams or nightmares, would have considered that a toilet design would be something that I would have need to think about, when we first embarked on this new journey. But it is, I guess.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

It's Not Been a Good Weekend

This has not been a great Labor Day weekend. First, Dennis had a bed, bad case of the shits all weekend. Most of the weekend he sat on the pot, while I cleaned the bed, the carpet, the floor and his butt. We did manage to squeeze in a trip to the Minnesota Zoo with Mother and JoAnne. That was fun.

Last night he started screeching, hollering and screaming in his sleep. I tried covering his mouth, sitting him up, and giving him a second sleeping pill. No luck. I am sure the neighbors were not very thrilled, either.

I went off to work this morning, and had the usual crap at work. When I came home, I found Dennis lying on the floor, surrounded by a broken glass. I don't see it as often as I did a year or two ago; yet I could assess the situation quickly and calmly and act swiftly. I swept, moved him to his knees, got him in a chair and vacuumed the rest of the mess up. Within an hour, I had made him dinner (mashed potatoes and mechanical soft meat - we are off the feeding tube until the shits are gone) and into bed.

Me , I am worried about Dennis. Dennis is worried about both of us. We are trying to find money to help get him more PCA time, but in these economic times, it is difficult. As long as we have any money at all, we are so low on the priority list.

Dennis is going, once again, to his doctor - one that we both like. He is thinking about a colostomy bag. This is way beyond what I am ready to comprehend right now, but I am proud that Dennis is ready to discuss this next possible step.

A Bit More Blood

In honor of Dr. Suess, the first Monday in March is Read Across America Day. At our school, they celebrate this by having tons of guests, teachers, volunteers and parents inundate the children with one of the favorite picture books.

I dressed up as a little old lady, introduced myself as MaMa Osterhus, and told the children the story of the old woman who swallowed a fly. I was a hit. So were many others. But, it also was a long day.

Dennis was in bed, reading the mail, when I walked in. He wanted to get up and get to his room to pay some of the bills we had received. I helped him to a sit up position, put his chair in a good position, and at his request, left him alone.

Ten minutes later I heard a thump.

His already bent up nose has a new bend in the bridge and two more small cuts adorn his face. He still looks better than Mickey Rorke, but he is catching up, slowly.

Until Tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Stablilizing

Last summer, everything in our lives was changing so fast that I was sure I would have something new and exciting to write about each and everyday. A blog was born with a promise of a new entry every day for one year.

Well, life does happen, and illnesses do stabilize. I have been sick, and Dennis is stable. I have not needed to write as often, to release my angst, and Dennis' life is a bit easier, in some ways.

The falls for Dennis are, for the most part, an event of the past. He has learned how to walk with aides, people, walkers or chairs, and avoid dangerous situations. It's part acceptance of the reality of his disease and party fear of what the next fall could mean.

His blood pressure has stabilized, also causing fewer falls. This is because he takes fewer medications and he is more aware of when he should and shouldn't move. Sometimes a guy just shouldn't stand up.

The catheter has taken care of the need for daily bedding change. My days have stopped centering around a bed stripping, washing and redoing.

The Courage Center has been wonderful for Dennis. He is able to work out on disability friendly weight machines and his muscles are becoming stronger once again. He enjoys the time there, and feels able once again.

A year can bring about so much change, good and bad. For the most part the last few months have been great. We both needed this - a bit of stability and time for acceptance.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Upping the Anty

One of the reasons that I wanted to write a daily blog* is to track how Dennis is doing, physically and mentally. It helps me to keep aware of his past, present and future.

I do recall writing about that dreaded call out when I return home from work not too long ago. I didn't realize it was as recent as a week ago.

So, when I came home today and heard Dennis yelling, "Help!", I knew it was time to put my foot down, once again. Oh, how I hate doing this and how he hates hearing this. But it is a natural consequence. He needs to stay where he is after his PCA leaves and until I come home, or we will need to find someone to be here every minute I am not at home.

Right now it has been close to 2 hours that he has been on the floor, in one position or another, because his body is fatigued. He had held himself in place for an hour waiting for me, and he wants to just stay in one place while he recoups. I understand, but I cannot let this happen again.

His falls have reduced since last year, but now he has another non-negotiable regarding taking care of himself. Once his PCA has left, he needs to stay in bed, his chair or wherever he is put, until I return home. Otherwise, we will need to up the anty, once again.

Until later,

Ann and Dennis

*I tried, so hard, to write daily. It was a goal that I was unable to keep.

That Dreaded Call Out

I came home from work at 5:00 today, and the first thing I heard, when I opened the door was that dreaded word, "HELP". Dennis had fallen out of bed while trying to get up. He had been holding on to the end table with his arms, and his face was plastered up against the top of the table. His legs were half on the floor and half on his wheel chair. He had been there an hour.

He wasn't hurt, but he was fatigued. Fatigued from holding himself up to keep his "pull down" from turning into a "fall." Ya gotta love his spin on the event.

It turned out to be a non-event. Well, that is if you call a pull down, and vomiting, a non-event. These days, I guess that is what we call not seeing blood or bruises.

Note to self: Must remind Dennis that if he is not good when left alone for a couple of hours, we will need to have someone here around the clock.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

My Parents

Last Friday, Dennis and I met my parents in North Hudson for lunch at a nice Italian restaurant. We have met for lunch several times this year, half-way between each of our homes. We don't live that far apart, less than a two hours drive. Still, these days, shaving off an hour or two on a round trip is easier for all of us.

When Dennis and I were in Paris, mom and dad were taking a walk, when mom tripped and fell to the ground. Mom has never been full of grace, and has fallen before. This time, though, she broke her arm just above the elbow and her front teeth chipped and pushed through her upper lip. Naturally, it was her right arm that broke, and she hasn't been able to do tasks skillfully with her left arm and hand.

Now it is eight weeks later, her cast was off, she has completed some physical therapy, her teeth are fixed and there is only a tiny bruise remaining on her lip. She looked good and could eat her entire meal.

It's fun, and often interesting, getting together with my parents. My mother's and Dennis' lives seem to parallel each other at times. My father and I are going through the same sort of issues, too. We all get frustrated with our partners in different ways, but there is so much empathy and understanding among all of us.

I am fortunate to have both of my parents still alive and reasonably healthy. Dennis thinks of them as his own parents, and loves them unconditionally, as I do. It's good to have family.

Until tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis
Living with Shy-Drager, Multiple System Atrophy and loving family

Returning Home

I heard that itty bitty voice talk to me again this morning, the one I always listen to carefully. It said, "come home from the lake earlier that mid afternoon." So after our morning coffee and gaze at the lake, I packed up the car and drove the hour and 15 minutes to return home.

As I came in the house, Raquel said to Dennis, "you got some 'splainin' to do, man!" With a curious look on my face, I put down my bag and strolled over to the table where she and Dennis were sitting. I asked, " What's up?" and Dennis told me he had fallen down once again. I gave his body the once over, and all I saw was the usual ketchup stain on his face.

After the story came out, I found out it wasn't a ketchup stain, but rather a gash and seven stiches.

He has an office chair that isn't sturdy or strong. He insists in keeping it, even though he has tipped over before, while sitting in it. This time when he had tipped over, he hit his face on the metal plant stand holding his new pot of succulents. He had cut his face on the edge of the stand. As if that wasn't humiliating enough,the pot of cactus then fell on top of his head and gave him a small bump on the noggin'.

All this had happened just hours after I left our flat on Friday, to cash in on the weekend away that Dennis had given to me for my birthday. After Dennis and Raquel ate dinner, Dennis fell. They took a taxi to the emergency center at his regular hospital a mile away. Because it was both a Friday and a full moon, they ended up waiting until the wee hours of the morning to have the large gash stitched together.

Bless him, once again. Raquel wanted to call me and Dennis said no, he did not want to spoil my weekend. Neither one of them said a word when I called home to check on them.

The chair is in the garbage, the carpet now has blood and dirt stains, in addition cola, food and wine stains. I imagine replacing it now would just be fool worthy. Soon, we will probably be able to pass it off as a pop art carpet. It may turn out to be worth some big bucks, one of these days.