Medical Bed

Dennis' medical bed is coming tomorrow. Unfortunately, it will not fit into our existing bedroom. And Dennis does not want his bed in one room and my bed in another. This meant that we needed to switch up the two bedrooms in our condo. His office would become our bedroom, and our bedroom would become his office.

Raquel and I spent Monday moving furniture, electronics, books and all of Dennis' other collections out of his office and into the living room. Then we moved the bedroom furniture into the office. I should say we tried to move the bed frame, but it broke apart as we were moving it. It was from IKEA and had already been through one disassemble and reassemble, and it didn't feel like doing it again.

So I need a new bed, too.

And a new body.

We had to carry the frame down two floors to the garbage area. That took four trips of carrying pieces of pressed board and metal down the hall, to the elevator and then across the garage to the dumping area. We filled up the dumpster and started piling up the rest of the bed next to the dumpster.

Then the dresser decided it had been through enough, too, and fell apart. Again, we hauled and tossed furniture that was being very uncooperative.

Of course, no one could be without the Internet, so I hooked up the computer in the new office as Raquel hooked up the TV in the new bedroom. It was quitting time - I was on the verge of crying for the first time since I retired last month.

But I couldn't relax. There was stuff piled up all around me in the living room. The new bedroom had a mattress on the floor and felt ugly. It was too hot and humid to sit on the deck for very long. I needed my tranquility back again. It wasn't going to come Monday, or Tuesday either, I found out.

Monday night Dennis talked in his sleep all night. Tuesday he started to "boss" me around. I left the house for some shopping therapy before I took one of those cords from one of the electronic devices and wrapped it around his neck and tugged hard.

A couple of hours later I felt better, but there would be no more moving on Tuesday.

Today is Wednesday, and Raquel is finishing up the office. We are all rested and feel much better. Tomorrow the medical bed will arrive, and we will see what needs to happen next in the bedroom. That will not be until next week however. I have enough bruises for this week, thank you very much.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Sunday

After a long two weeks, I spent the majority of Saturday in bed. I had planned on painting, but didn't have the energy to pick up the brushes and put the paint on the canvas. Today, I woke, refreshed and started the day out painting.

For the past 4 months, Sundays have been hectic for me. First I had to get myself ready, then Dennis, then pick up my mother to bring her to our place. Often she would need to stop at a grocery store or Walgreen's along the way. Then I would make lunch for the three of us, watch football (yuck, yuck and double, triple yuck) with Dennis and Mother. Sometimes Hamed and Ashley would join us. Then it was clean up, and return Mother to her apartment, do some chores around her apartment, and then return home to take care of Dennis. Whew. I am tired once again just thinking about this routine.

This Sunday I am experiencing very mixed feelings. Two weeks ago is when Paul was here and Mother was found dead. All that drama is something I am having a difficult time getting out of my head. Last week was not about Mother, but Jane and Ralph came over, so it wasn't quite like this Sunday.

Today, the morning was leisurely. Dennis slept in so I was able to get 2 hours of painting in before getting him ready. I made breakfast and Dennis retired to his room for a few hours while I played on the computer and listened to acoustical Sunday on Cities 97. Then, around 1:00 we headed to Bunny's for bar food and a beer.

Dennis and I had a few short conversations about Mother and Sundays at Bunny's. I expressed my mixed emotions - having Sundays back again and at the same time wishing Mother was still alive. Dennis told me how he hated when his parents took him to a bar to eat, and I told him we never were inside a bar as kids. He then wondered what his life might have been like if he had the opportunity to have good parents like I did.

I guess I really am one of the lucky ones in this world. My parents were good to us, even if they were a bit too strict for my wishes. As adults, they still remained good to all of us, and stood by us through any and all of our mistakes.

Bye Bye Mom and Dad

Mother Follow Up

I received a phone call from the President of the facility where Ma had recently been living. Paul and I had met him on the Sunday that Mother was found dead. He was polite and empathetic at that time. Today he impressed me even more.

He called to tell me that the Social Worker had been wrong, and that we did not need to pay for the month of December. But first he offered up sincere condolences, and then let me know that the whole staff had been meeting to try and figure out just what went wrong. I mentioned my concerns about having stairs open to clients, and a wooded area on the grounds that clients were able to access. This wooded area then led to a crevice where Mother was eventually found. I was very adamant about the fact that I wanted these issues addressed. He assured me that these issues were being considered.

I told him that the coroner's office suggested that I report the incident to the Department of Health. The President dude told me that they had self-reported. This made me feel better.

Then he let me know that the staff was having a difficult time with this whole incident. Mother was well liked - she was joyful and loved the staff. I did let him know that I was not holding my mother's death against anyone in particular, but I was angry with the situation in general. Again, he understood.

The cynic will say that he was covering his butt. I can be a cynic, but I can also be too trusting. My intuition tells me that he was sincere, and would accept blame when and if it came to that. I can admire a boss that will accept blame before he lets his employees get beat upon. Thank the gods that I have a cynical brother and sister to keep me in check! We are a great balance, the three of us.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Moving Out

This has been, without any doubt, one of the most tiring weeks of my life. I am grateful that I had a good friend, JoAnn by my side every day of my mother's house clean up and thrift sale readiness. I am also happy that Jane could join us for 2 of those 3 days, and worked hard to get the job done on time. In addition, my uncle joined us to haul furniture, wood and garbage and lots of moral support. Then Celina and Joe, the young students who helped us in exchange for some furniture for their home, worked hard to get the house 'sale' ready.

A few neighbors and old friends also stopped by to wish us all well. For some of my parent's friends, they have been together since before any children were born. For others, newer friends, but just as loyal and caring. Tragedies really do bring out the best in some people. In others, it forces them to retreat and hide. In many, it just highlights the natural goodness that some people are gifted with.

Tubby, my uncle and Kathy, my aunt, shared with me at the end of the day, a successful estate sale. They were proud to tell me the ex-teachers and students that stopped by and named many friends that stopped in just to see the house. I imagine it was just a last goodbye, even no one they wished to say the words to, were actually around.

Mother, on the other hand, seems to be settling in well. She went on 2 field trips this weekend. One, she can't remember enough to tell me and the other was to Stillwater for a lunch. I encouraged her to go to a work out, and she stayed or News and Talk. She seems to be getting comfortable in her new setting.

Until tomorrow
Ann and Dennis

Stomach Tube (G Tube) Blockage

I spent most of the day with my mother today. I left the house at 8:30 and headed for Eau Claire. The plan was to pick out a few more items for moving, a last visit with her doctor, before heading back to Minneapolis with Mother in tow. She is going to see her new apartment and have an assessment with a nurse tomorrow. Then Jane will drive her back home.

It was a long day. A 100 mile drive, twice. A visit to the doctor, who spends a whole lot of time with each patient. Mother and Father both love(d) him, but he is always behind on his appointments. Then, we packed for the night, but mom kept forgetting something. Anyhoo, it ended up being a long day.

When we returned to our condo, Dennis was due for a feeding. Damn, his tube was blocked. I reread the information given to us and tried to empty his stomach contents with suction. Nothing. I tried putting water into the stomach, with no success. I tried a new suction tube. I tried hot water. Nothing.

I called the hospital. I could not find the direct number and the receptionist, although very pleasant, couldn't figure out what I needed either. Eventually, I was hooked up with a guy that understood what I wanted. While he transferred me, he told me that inserting Coke into his tube might loosen the blockage. As my sister Jane said, "that says alot about what we are putting into our bodies."

I left a message and received a call back a short time later. Pump, back and forth, warm water into his tube. Much like rocking a car out of snow. Slowly, in and out, back and forth.

Thankfully, this worked. Dennis is still officially without insurance. Yes, he will be covered by my insurance, but the paper work is not processed, yet. It's best not to take him to a doctor until the official cards have arrived. I really do not want to face one more insurance fiasco.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis