Full Moons

When I drove my mother home on Sunday, I looked at the sky with trepidation - the moon was full. I knew that Monday the kids would be full of Halloween sugar and out of sync with life because the moon was in a funky state.

This was one area where my father and I always disagreed. He was unable to accept changes that were not scientifically based. I, on the other hand, embraced new age thinking' at least that stuff that I had been able to view first hand.

I, like dad, used data to determine the past, future and present. The data we collected differed, however. I have data to show that children (at the very least) are behaviorally challenged by a full moon. I have a belief, without personally collected data, that sugar alters behavior. Thus, in my experience and data based thinking, Halloween and a full moon do not mix well.

I do not collect specific data anymore, but this week proved both of my long-term beliefs, based on data, to be true. At least about children, in school settings.

If I had the energy and someone to financially back me, I believe I could show that a full moon, and a seasonal time change, also affect many of us in an adverse manner. Alas, I have neither the energy or the money. So, no one, but those of us that are affected by such small matters, have much say in the matter.

Perhaps we should not have much say. Perhaps there is a reasonable big picture that some of us are incapable of understanding, or have simply not been shown. Perhaps I am simply whining, once again, about something that affects no one but myself.

In the long run, all I really know, and am able to back up, with data, is that candy giving holidays should never coincide with a full moon. And, perhaps, that is enough.

Sold.

My parent's house was picked up by a couple seeking a good deal, and I was agreeable. They offered a lot less than we asked, but I knew we had asked too much. They agreed to a counter offer, and want to close quickly. They have cash and are excited to move. I will be happy to have this off of my plate.

Or will I?

My parents had this home built 30 years ago. None of us children have ever really lived there. Early on, my sister and I stayed for a few months at a time, but it has never been "our family home." We have had family Christmases, birthdays, anniversaries, and such at this home, but none of us have ever had a full time family experience in this house. It has always been our parent's home, not our home.

Still, there is something a bit bittersweet about this particular ending. I remember the house being built, in this new area of the town where we all grew up. I remember the cool bricks they picked out for the biggest fireplace that I had ever seen. My father even put in the first sun heated water system, an unheard of concept at the time. I was proud of my folks at the time. This was a new feeling for me, and the house still holds these memories.

I suppose this house represents my adult years, and all the changes that have occurred between the ages of 20 and 60 (or close to it). I am happy that someone wants to buy it and update it and make it their own; I don't hold "stuff" as mine. Yet, there is no longer a place for any of us in Eau Claire - the town I grew up in and the town that holds happy, as well as sad, memories.

And that is all I have to say for now.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis

Predictability

Dennis' MSA symptoms seem to have hit a plateau, for the moment. After Ireland, he was very tired, and then the surgeries set him back a bit. But, since his catheter fell out last month, he seems to be doing fairly well. At least nothing new has popped up for a while.

I have learned to enjoy these times. Some have been very brief, others quite a nice amount of time. I have stopped worrying about when it will end, and instead enjoy the time at the plateau.

I easily adapt to change, at least, for the most part. Actually, I thrive on change - if it isn't constant. Even so, the changes in Dennis aren't exactly celebratory in nature. So, instead, I celebrate the non-change times.

Right now, I know how the mornings will look. I understand and am able to deal with the best and worst case morning scenarios. I know how the day may go, whether he is with me or with one of his PCAs. We may not lead the most exciting life, on a day to day basis, but we still have our home, travel, friendship and a complete and total love for each other. So, predictability, at least in this case, is wonderful.

And predictability is what I am celebrating today.

Until tomorrow,
Ann and Dennis

Looking Back

I put my last day in at school today. Sigh. I am exhausted. I can't believe how much has happened since last year at this time.

Dennis has been in the hospital twice
Dennis has gone from a walker to a wheel chair
We moved into our condo
We went to Paris and London and are planning our trip to Ireland
I lost a best friend due to Dennis' illness
I gained a bunch of friends and buddies due to Dennis' illness
My father died suddenly and unexpectedly
My mother needs more of her children's care than before
My sister married and moved to London

Whew. I get tired just writing this list.

I am in the process of reading a book called The Diving Bell and The Butterfly. It was made into a movie a couple of years back. I have never seen the movie, but I purchased the book for my mom a year or two ago. When we were staying with mom, after dad's death, I found the book and read it one sleepless evening. I am re-reading it now for an online book group. It's inspirational, touching, and reminds me that life could be so much more difficult. And it could.

This has been a difficult year, but also a year filled with love. Some days, love is all we have.

Until later,
Ann and Dennis